I\’m Right

Where ‘Awkwardness’ is the name of the game. Or just the story of my life.

Detox. January 19, 2008

Filed under: Growing up,Lemonade,Life,Randomness — alwaysbri @ 2:59 am

Hello, my name is Brianna Taylor, and I am a recovering diet coke addict.

I had a problem. I am ready to admit. I never used to admit that I had a problem. I convinced myself and tried to convince others that rather than it being an addiction, it was just a liking. An extreme liking. That I would go out of my way to meet… Anywho, last week I decided to take steps in correcting this. So, as many people are glad to hear, no more diet coke for me, at least for awhile.

And let me tell you, detox has not been a pleasant experience. Like, in all seriousness, I must have really been addicted, because I really haven’t felt that great over the last weekish I’ve been trying this.

  •  headaches
  • weird dreams (though that was kind of happening before)
  • moody

So… it’s been interesting. Like, I know it’s good for me. So i’m glad about it. I just didn’t really expect it to affect me really. Pretty sure the headaches are in direct result of it. Kind of pounding-ish in the back of my head. my NutraSweet and Aspratine levels have dropped drastically and it’s flipping out my brain. most likely.

The weird dreams are kind of a variable, I have weird dreams a lot, they just haven’t been like crazy-weird like usual, just rather weird-sucky. so i am not sure about that one. Though I did have one dream about diet coke chasing me…. probably unrelated.

As for the moodiness, that has been fun. Mostly I have just been irritable. mostly at myself though not others. well. some others. ok, there were a handful. mm, again, could be other things. But my knee-jerk anger towards the people I see with diet coke could argue otherwise.

Luckily, I have some good friends to help me through this rough time. I appreciate that. for the most part. But I will prevail. I’m thinking I could handle one of those Celebrity rehab places though. Must be tough to get over an addiction while at a spa or the like. Pretty sure a facial would help this whole process. or a massage. perhaps both. sigh.

*note to self: achieve stardom before becoming substance dependent again*


20 for 2008 January 3, 2008

Filed under: Randomness — alwaysbri @ 6:03 pm

These are some things I want to do this year, in no particular order or importance.

  1.  Go on a picnic
  2.  Go camping
  3.  Have a  Harry Potter Marathon
  4.  Host a random themed party
  5.  Find a pair of jeans that really fits well and that i like
  6.  Find a band that no one has heard of that i really like
  7.  Make many decisions quickly and surely
  8.  Have a bonfire on the beach during summer
  9.  Explore a place i haven’t been
  10.  Get pleasantly surprised
  11.  Drive and drive without planning where to go
  12.  Go to seattle
  13.  Get to where i can do scissor kicks head level
  14.  Finish seasons 2 and 3 of Lost
  15.  Find occasions to dress up nice
  16.  Read my Bible more
  17.  Journal at least every few days
  18.  Start doing kicks and punches again
  19.  Find more ways to control my dreams
  20.  Learn to cook more things

So there are a few of the things I want to do in 2008. There are more that either, a) I don’t know how to word, or b) I just don’t want anyone to know yet.


A mix of seriousness and randomness. As many of the best things are. December 23, 2007

11 things I have learned to appreciate as I get older

Progression– moving forward…

Remembering– how things were… how we were…

Learning– how to grow up…

Spontaneity– can make a perfect moment…

Planning– but sometimes a well thought out plan is nicer…

Silences that Speak– when you can look at someone and they are looking at you and you both know what the other is thinking without having to say it…

Passion– believing in something with all your heart…

Wandering– not knowing where you are going and not caring, just looking for an adventure…

Conversation– never running out of things to say to someone…

Enthusiasm– founded or unfounded…

Laughter– the saving grace…

Each of these things have become more and more important, and seem to be trends in my life as time goes on… many underestimated, each essential…

11 things I have learned to not appreciate as I grow older

Mushrooms– …. why do the exist. honestly.

Bedtime– there is never enough time in the day…

Alarm Clocks– i love my batman one, hate what they stand for…

Egotism– joking is ok… true cocky behavior is just aggravating.

Drama– hate it…

Drama– hate it a lot…

Jealousy– not pretty.

Forgetting to block– just ends up with a mocking and a headache.

Bad Timing– sometimes timing makes an event, but bad timing can hurt…

Indecisiveness– or should i write that?

Klutziness– gosh i hope it’s endearing or something. not just uncoordinated.

Each of these too have influenced my life, often to my much dismay.

But life goes on, we live, we grow, we write random posts.


If Every Day Were to be Celebrated… December 4, 2007

Filed under: Amusement,babbling,I don't even know,Life,Randomness — alwaysbri @ 9:16 am

The holiday season always brings fond memories… the cheer, the joy, the family togetherness. It reminds me of holidays past, and as I help trim the tree, make sugar cookies, wrap presents in the glow of the Christmas lights, and cry during It’s A Wonderful Life, I notice something else. The effort, time, and resources put into celebrating this time of year are extravagant, and the season is celebrated more than any other, and it makes me think of the lesser holidays that may not be celebrated as intensely.

Now, we generally take any excuse to party, get gifts, receive gifts, do unusual things, or just plain have fun. There are some holidays, however, that make so little sense that even we cannot find a justifiable way to celebrate them. Or we do, but shouldn’t.

  • Beginning, of course, with February 2nd, Groundhog’s Day. Oh my, what to say about Groundhog’s Day. First off, great movie. Secondly, we are having a groundhog predict our weather. the general public may not be completely crazy about the day, but don’t worry. There is a club. The Groundhog Club, to be exact. These are the people who listen to Punxsutawney Phil’s prediction in “groundhogese” and translate it to the rest of the world. And that is it. There is no all night party or anything, most people turn on the news out of curiosity, see what he says, then go about their normal business. But this is a national holiday people! Live it up! I imagine we should all wear brown, have some sort of ‘coming out of the burrow- ack i see my shadow-6 more weeks of winter dance,’ and eat lots of flapjacks.
  • The next day is Billy Joel Day. A good example of a holiday that most people don’t even know exist. and for a reason.
  • February 13th is Geek Day. Coincidence that it is the day before Valentine’s Day? I don’t think so. Celebrating geeks so they will have fond memories to look back on if their valentine’s day is less than desirable? Could be. This is another day I feel we should all take to extremes. Either with acting like a geek, coming out of the closet with our own true geekyness, or even just expressing our love for the significant geeks in our lives with various cards or gifts.
  • April 1st is a day we know, and some of us love. It is actually pretty funny though, because in it’s original form, the “Fool” in April Fool’s Day didn’t mean fool as in trick or joke, but Fool as in a person without common sense. In the 1500’s, new year’s changed from April First to January First. The people who still celebrated the new year on the first of April were laughed at and mocked for their ignorance. Eventually the day turned into a day where you trick people, or make a ‘fool’ of them. So just realize, celebrating April 1st originally meant you were not the sharpest tool in the shed.
  • Here in Oregon we have a whole week set aside for Arbor Day, which is pretty nifty… not sure how that one works, but the first full week of April is Arbor Day, just fyi. It is also the day to celebrate trees. And boy do they deserve being celebrated. Anywho, it’s devoted to spreading awareness of trees’ importance, which i suppose is a valuable lesson, since without them, we would basically be in trouble. But couldn’t we think of something a little more enticing than “come plant trees?” The solution clearly being an official Arbor Day song, going something like:
      • oh the day of arbor, i must go to the barber, planting many trees, oh i cannot see, cut away the ignorance, i’ll pay you with a sixpence…

    it’s a work in progress but something to that affect. Ask me to hum it next time i see you, you can get a better picture.

  • Lastly, for this post anyway, is May Day. May 1st. Flowers and Maypoles and little children dancing around with ribbons and stuff. Lovely. This one has been a holiday for a crazy long time, the only funny part being when you relate it to “Mayday,” the signal for a ship or plane in distress, or “Mayday,” the annual electronic music festival in Poland. neither of which have anything to do with flowers. or tradition. I think we should probably combine them all to prevent confusion. It would look something like crashing model planes wrapped in flowers and ribbon while blasting electronic music.

ok that is all from me. and that was only the first half of the year.


green trucks November 28, 2007

Filed under: Bitterness,Life,Randomness,RANT — alwaysbri @ 7:08 pm

Life was just going too great, wasn’t it. Just too much fun, not enough suckyness. Awesome. Couldn’t I have just tripped and embarrassed myself or spilled coffee down my shirt or something? No. Doesn’t work like that. Had to go off the road. Had to watch someone drive off after running me off the road not even caring if I’d gotten hurt (which i didn’t).

I hope the jerk/jerks in the green flatbed truck can live with themselves. Actually, I am hoping they can’t, but that sounds pretty bad. So I’ll say I hope they can. Ok here it is:

I am driving innocently to Western yesterday on south river road. minding my own business and listening to my ipod on shuffle. Which has nothing to do with the story but is a nice little detail. Driving in my beautiful amazing saturn that I love. sigh.

I come around a corner to see a green truck. Facing me. In my lane. and it was completely in my lane, not even partially. I swerve to avoid a head-on collision, my car fishtails and heads toward the opposite side of the road. The driver side hit the embankment and the back of the car bounced up, landing perpendicular to the road. and the jerk in the green truck didn’t even stop to see if i was alright. awesome. how would someone be able to do that?

gah. it frustrates me. but God was definitely keeping me safe. I missed a telephone pole by no more than probably 10 feet. and was within sight of the cement s-curves out there… not to mention the river on the other side of the road. my car ended up in one of the only spots where the side wouldn’t hit anything except the embankment… no trees or rocks or anything. I walked out completely unscathed, besides a minor headache that has turned into a sore neck. the nice policeman took pictures for me tho. here is my car

Car Fiasco

It was really scary… and it just mostly hit me last night. i had kind of a long night… couldn’t sleep that well and kept dreaming about it. blah. but i am ok… my car is not doing so hot though. dunno if it is totaled yet. they had to cut my exhaust pipe off and threw a couple of other parts that had somehow come loose sometime in the crash in my trunk. Dunno if they were minor or not. I visited it today and this is how it looked:

back image122.jpgIt wouldn’t start though so something isn’t going well. I don’t know. just pray it will go ok i guess. that everything will work out?

and that was my day yesterday.


Fall-ey Things. October 22, 2007

Filed under: Amusement,I don't even know,Life,Randomness,Reflections,Sunshine — alwaysbri @ 9:57 pm

It was sooo gorgeous out today. And it is supposed to be like that tomorrow too, and i have no classes. What does this mean? Time to engage in Fall-ey type activities.

Now, you may ask, what makes an activity Fall-ey? Well it is actually quite a prestigious tag given to only the most fun, most rewarding, and most memorable fall-related things. Some people get confused when they hear the word Fall, and believe that it is associated with school, the end of the wonderful summer freedom, and the disappearance of lazy days. This assumption, however, is not accurate. These things should not be harnessed with Fall. They are strictly Autumnish.

Autumnish things are the activities, routines, and the schedules we are compelled to keep when this season returns around September.

Autumnish Things 

  • School
  • Waking up early
  • Going to bed on time (ish)
  • Homework
  • Remembering what day it is
  • Getting stuck behind people going 25/30 mph on south river road
  • Being depressed Sunday night, etc.

These are the type of thing that comes with the formality of Autumn, but can’t be understood as Fall-ey. Most Fall-ey things are spur of the moment, on a whim things. Not like the structured events of Autumn. Things that just make you happy, no matter how trivial or dumb they sound, are true Fall-ey things.

Fall-ey Things 

  • Jumping in the leaves
  • Skipping through colored trees
  • Taking random drives and not getting lost or if you do it is ok
  • Seeing stars and appreciating them all the more because you know their time is limited.
  • Taking a deep breath and the air is cold and clean and smells so good.
  • Drinking apple cider (or just apple juice) outside and thinking only of how beautiful everything is
  • Putting a long-sleeved shirt/sweater/jacket on in the morning because it is sunny but sorta cold.
  • Drinking or eating pumpkin flavored things. Or carving pumpkins. Or basically anything that pumpkins are involved with.
  • Talking with someone, and turning to face the sun to get your faces warm, a little cold, but not wanting to go inside because it feels so good and is so awesome and you know winter is coming and you wont have this chance.

Those are true Fall-ey things. And for something to be Fall-ey, it has to be on one of these perfect days. Sunny and chilly, beautiful and clear. Where the leaves are changing and falling. You can’t just make an activity Fall-ey.

Things that might be done to attempt to achieve a Fall-ey activity but don’t actually count

  • Pulling green leaves off a tree in order to jump in them and make a leaf angel in Springtime.
  • Visiting the pumpkin patch in April.
  • Skipping through an apple orchard in the rain.
  • Dancing and singing the monster mash in July.

All of these things in the right circumstances might be Fall-ey, but just don’t work that way if you try to force it at the wrong time. You don’t get many Fall-ey days. At least here. So deal with them wisely.


…and the rest of the randomness September 14, 2007

Filed under: Amusement,Bitterness,I don't even know,Life,Randomness — alwaysbri @ 6:11 pm

so it is like 6. i just got back from my place of employment. i walk in and have this conversation with the guy working:

him- You’re early

me- A little…

him- Well you probably shouldn’t clock in till your shift gets closer

me- I work in like 10 minutes, i think it’s okay.

him- You don’t work until 7 i thought.

me- No, 6.

him- You sure? Check the schedule.

me- I’m sure but i’ll check. *checks* 7. *takes apron and visor off* see you in an hour.