I\’m Right

Where ‘Awkwardness’ is the name of the game. Or just the story of my life.

Killer March 13, 2007

Killer. January 29, 2004- March 12, 2007.

I am baffled as I write this. Today the world lost a great leader, a great companion,  a great assassin.  I am of course talking of that well loved sheep, Killer.

We were all shocked to hear the news, and even more shocked to hear the way they believe he died. Authorities, doctors, sheep experts, and select government officials stated that the cause of death was drowning. That’s right. They believe that the infamous Killer drowned in his own water trough. Obviously he far too intelligent for this degrading assumption. More reputable sources… like myself… say that Killer was, of course, murdered.

Killer, in life, was everything a good… sheep… could be. He was a natural leader, everywhere he went, the flock would follow close behind. He was quite skilled. He could read and write, and banter wittily. He was helpful, kind, and trained to kill. All of these things made Killer quite unique, as you can imagine. These traits, uncommon for sheep, prospered in Killer.

Killer led a happy life, was a great employee, a devoted father, and a reliable assassin. He is survived by 4 children, Sheep #38, Sheep # 39, Sheep # 40, and Cole. Cole is said to be insane, as he swears he sees his drowned father and his father thinks he is not dead, and is trying tell Cole something. Killer was a responsible employee,  he always got the job done, and did the best he possibly could. Killer survived through a smiting, a ransack, and several kidnapping threats. He was brave, he was smart.

All sheep should aspire to be like Killer. He will be remembered forever.

Or at least a kinda long time.


19 Responses to “Killer”

  1. Kala Says:

    Know that others are…mourning…the loss with you.

    Oh, why does it say he was born in 2004? Just curious…

  2. alwaysbri Says:

    when we got the sheep she said that they were 3 years old already… i got killer on january 29th…

  3. Kala Says:

    Oh. Sad. *sniff*

  4. Cody Says:

    Yeah water trough sure.
    Here is what really happened.
    Killer wanted to move on.
    He wanted to retire from his current life.
    He faked his own death! He was tired of the teacher and so found the only way a trained assassin would find. Faking his own death. The reason his son keeps thinking he sees him is because he does!
    Killer wants the insurance money from him.
    I am sure he is now in Peru living a good life.

  5. Kala Says:

    Heh, ‘Faking my own suicide’, maybe, Bri?

  6. alwaysbri Says:

    Cody! that’s it! I feel much better now.

    Yes, Kala, I daresay that is the truth.

  7. Joseph Says:

    Wow. What a tragic death. We will all hold a special place in our hearts for Killer.

  8. d3vastator Says:

    defenitly some freaking killer mutton.

  9. d3vastator Says:

    and i didn’t spell that right.

  10. Charles Says:

    No, it’s usually ‘freakin’ with an apostrophe. But that’s all right. ;)

    So, on a more serious note (another haha) I think you should convince all of your mythology classmates to name at least one or more of their sheep by names like “Gorbag” or “Assassin” or “GraveDigger”. Then she might get short-circuted and retire. And then Killer can arise!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. alwaysbri Says:

    see that would be great.

    if anyone in my class was on speaking terms with me.

  12. Charles Says:

    You know they’re all just jealous.

  13. Cody Says:

    Gorbag? No that is not enough. Gorbag the horrendous!
    or gorbag the ravenous. that would work. gorbag just sounds like a sheep who holds the gore bag. Not a sheep that hands out the gore!

  14. flamb0yant Says:

    aw killer!

  15. flamb0yant Says:

    that made me laugh hard.

  16. Parker Says:

    Killer and Panda, sittin’ in a tree …

  17. Sierra Says:

    You had a sheep?

  18. Sierra Says:

    I think I’m out of the loop here…

  19. alwaysbri Says:

    hehe. a mythology project last year…

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