I\’m Right

Where ‘Awkwardness’ is the name of the game. Or just the story of my life.

my life January 28, 2008

snow is rapidly losing it’s charm with me. i wake up this morning to snow and was happy. no classes to go to. until i find out that western was hoping to off a few students before breakfast and decided to have classes despite the weather. awesome. i have a rather large knot on my forehead, and some other minor attractive scuffs on my face from last night, and i was thrilled to get to go to school and show it off. /not.  So i wasn’t thrilled.

the drive to school was probably the scariest of my life, as my little saturn is not built for that kind of weather. the ‘low traction’ light was on the whole way and i swear i heard it gasp in terror a few times. or that might have been me. going a top speed of 20 was fun, right up there with my surgery when i was like 6 and the doctors cut a slice off the top of my tongue and i couldn’t eat any sort of salty things for a couple weeks.

even more thrilling was my dad calling as i was about 3/4 the way there. “umm western just decided to delay for 2 hours… not opening until 10.” what the freaking heck. you can’t close the campus at 7:30 for the 8:00 classes. pretty much ruins everything for the people who have to commute.

so, naturally, i am pretty ticked off. and it’s freezing, even with a scarf and a sweatshirt under my warm coat. but i’m like, hey, two hours to work on homework. don’t have any cash of course, can’t get breakfast or anything so i’m like, i’ll just go to the computer lab and do work. maybe write this post. ipod is dead but the computer will keep me company, and i can lessen the crazy load of work for this week. but wait! western surpasses my expectations! everything is closed! locked up and dark. a.mazing.

so…. i sat in my car for an hour. doing math, and being depressed. then went to the library. such is monday morning. and such is my life.

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Detox. January 19, 2008

Filed under: Growing up,Lemonade,Life,Randomness — alwaysbri @ 2:59 am

Hello, my name is Brianna Taylor, and I am a recovering diet coke addict.

I had a problem. I am ready to admit. I never used to admit that I had a problem. I convinced myself and tried to convince others that rather than it being an addiction, it was just a liking. An extreme liking. That I would go out of my way to meet… Anywho, last week I decided to take steps in correcting this. So, as many people are glad to hear, no more diet coke for me, at least for awhile.

And let me tell you, detox has not been a pleasant experience. Like, in all seriousness, I must have really been addicted, because I really haven’t felt that great over the last weekish I’ve been trying this.

  •  headaches
  • weird dreams (though that was kind of happening before)
  • moody

So… it’s been interesting. Like, I know it’s good for me. So i’m glad about it. I just didn’t really expect it to affect me really. Pretty sure the headaches are in direct result of it. Kind of pounding-ish in the back of my head. my NutraSweet and Aspratine levels have dropped drastically and it’s flipping out my brain. most likely.

The weird dreams are kind of a variable, I have weird dreams a lot, they just haven’t been like crazy-weird like usual, just rather weird-sucky. so i am not sure about that one. Though I did have one dream about diet coke chasing me…. probably unrelated.

As for the moodiness, that has been fun. Mostly I have just been irritable. mostly at myself though not others. well. some others. ok, there were a handful. mm, again, could be other things. But my knee-jerk anger towards the people I see with diet coke could argue otherwise.

Luckily, I have some good friends to help me through this rough time. I appreciate that. for the most part. But I will prevail. I’m thinking I could handle one of those Celebrity rehab places though. Must be tough to get over an addiction while at a spa or the like. Pretty sure a facial would help this whole process. or a massage. perhaps both. sigh.

*note to self: achieve stardom before becoming substance dependent again*

 

Email Survey FAQ August 13, 2007

Filed under: Amusement,Insults,Lemonade,Life,Mr. Darcy,Randomness — alwaysbri @ 6:09 pm

Many people have wondered how to take these forwarded email surveys that somehow seem to surface at random times throughout life. As far as I can see, there are 4 ways to deal with these surveys.

1) Sarcasm. The overly sarcastic approach is a very popular one. You tease and kid and exaggerate. You roll your eyes and say completely random things. This way, ‘serious,’ and ‘kidding’ collide and blur. And, I mean, what’s the fun of making fun of someone who spent half the survey poking fun at themselves and /or others? Okay, it’s still fun, but trickier.

2) The Disclaimer. Also a frequently used device. This is where you make up some sort of excuse, however lame, in hope that if anything is ever brought out, you can recite a well planned reason for your momentary insanity. I have to say, I don’t really think this one works all that well, unless the person is extremely gullible. Excuses carry little weight. I mean who could take some of them seriously. Examples of lame disclaimers:

a. I just went to *insert physical activity here* and I’m really tired, so I may not make sense

b. I’ve been up for *insert insanely long amount of time* and I may seem kind of random

Even if this happened to be true, people see it and don’t really care all that much. There are, however, a few excuses that I think would work.

a. I had to do that really fast so it’s possible I lied so I could have a shorter answer.

b. And I’m really wishing I could have seen your face when you read some of those answers I completely made up.

I’d buy those.

3) What They Want. I can’t say I have ever seen someone use this approach, but I figure it would work if you don’t care what they think and would answer the survey seriously anyway. You know they just read these for the blackmail material, and whether or not you have a crush on someone. So just tell them. Example:

i. What is your name? molly. I tripped over this chair today and totally looked really stupid… everyone was like staring and laughing… I am a huge klutz.

ii. What’s your favorite season? Summer. I have a crush on this one guy. He’s on the polo team.

I figure, you answer 2, maybe 3 questions like this, they have all they need and you don’t have to do the rest of the survey. Makes everyone’s life a little easier.

4) To The Point. Just write a really to the point survey and answer it instead. Like the previous idea, this hasn’t seemed to happen as of yet. It would look something like:

     i. Describe, in detail, all major and minor embarrassing moments in the last 3 weeks.

     ii. Name, picture, and social security number of your last 3 crushes.

 

     iii. List any habits you have, your potentially embarrassing qualities, your pet peeves, and anything one might use to quickly tick you off.

Answer these questions however you choose. No one will know whether or not to take it seriously or not because it’s so random. You could tell the truth, and people probably wouldn’t believe it.

So as far as I can see, these are the 4 ways to take these surveys and have some dignity left after. Or maybe not dignity. But at least the upper hand. And it’s just really fun.

 

Dear Mapquest July 4, 2007

Dear John Mapquest,

I never foresaw this day coming, but alas, it has. This just isn’t working for me anymore. If you would have asked me yesterday, I would have said that I was sure we would be together forever, but today I saw the truth. You were only leading me on so that you could let me down, and I got that loud and clear with this afternoon’s happenings.

While I may not have noticed until today, I realize now that it was there all along. I mean, I was always the one doing all of the work in this relationship, and I can’t help but think that you never even cared. I followed your direction, your advice, and I followed it completely. There was no doubt in my mind that you were leading me down the right path, that is until you led me astray. Now I feel that I can’t put my trust in you, because quite frankly, I couldn’t take the feeling of you letting me down again. You never did care, did you?

People warned me that you were no good. They said I would be better off without you, but I was so stubborn! I had faith in you. Faith that was, apparently, misplaced. We can still be acquaintances, but this completely exclusive relationship must end now. It isn’t healthy, for either of us. You obviously cracked under the pressure, and I need a strong system that I can rely on. If you can’t do that, then we should rethink this commitment.

Please understand that I don’t have many hard feelings against you. We go way back, and we had some good times, and awesome adventures. Those days are long in the past, and we need to move on. Thanks for the memories, Mapquest. Perhaps someday we will find ourselves together again. But for now I must go.

Sincerely,

Brianna.

 

Inflation June 28, 2007

    Early this morning, my littlest sister woke up enthusiastically. Those of you who know my little sister will truly appreciate the true wonder of that statement. And let me tell you, she was on a mission. Got dressed after carefully considering the weather, and bounded downstairs. She strode into the den and grabbed some paper, glue, coloring supplies, and the phone. In my sleepy stupor I noticed little else, that is until I heard her exclaim, “See you at noon!” saw her hang up the phone, and noticed her proudly holding up a paper sign reading “Lemonade! $.50!”

Ah, the lure of the lemonade stand to a kid in the summer. Do not underestimate it’s power. This particular lemonade stand disturbed me on so many levels. I’m serious.

First of all, I remember having lemonade stands at my old house. I used to love to have them. Sharon and I would drag chairs out to the end of the culdesac, a table, lemonade, and a whole lot of cups and ice. There we would sit for hours on end, sometimes joined by Cody, or Carmen down the street. Talking, giggling, having a grand ol’ time… and barely selling any lemonade. In fact, I think we probably had an average of about three customers every time. Our parents would sometimes buy some, and this one guy who lived across from our street would come out and buy some. We would replace the ice about 10 times, and occasionally we would find that we’d drunk all the lemonade, and one of us would run in and make more. Ahh… good times. It kinda makes me a little bit sad to think back to those summer days… we had such fun out there, whether or not we made any money. It was so simple lol. Hehe we’d get discouraged sometimes, and we’d  convince my mom to let us bring out da baby… thinking that it would lure people to our lemonade stand, having that cute little baby out there…

which brings me to the next disturbing point. Emylee was the cute little baby. And now she is the one out there with her best pal attempting to sell lemonade. It’s kind of surreal, truth be told. They are out there sitting side by side, drinking up most of the lemonade they have out there, and occasionally running in for more ice. It’s like deja vu. But not cuz it isn’t me. Just like it’s happened before.

But while many things seem extraordinarily similar,  it is clear that times are not the same. I mean, $.50?? Jeez. Inflation rears it’s ugly head. We used to charge $.15. If we were feeling particularly adventuresome. Not to mention the fact that they have an elaborate chalk mural on the sidewalk in front of their stand. Some things have definitely changed. And yet everything is so freakily familiar. And totally different. All at the same time.

The appearance may be more extravagant then in my day, but the basic idea is the same. Kids, opening a lemonade stand on the side of a dead residential street where 3 people pass by in an hour or two. A couple people stop and take pity, buying a glass or two and leaving an over the top tip with the excuse of not needing change or not having a smaller amount. The kids drink most of the lemonade themselves, the ice melts, and they have a great time. At the end of the day they count the money they’ve made, which looks a lot like that scene in Napoleon Dynamite where Napoleon counts the change he got at the chicken farm place. It is never quite as much as you think it is going to be. The kids split it evenly, excited about it even though they made like a buck fifty each, oblivious to the fact that doesn’t even cover the cost of supplies… craziness. Lemonade stands are so bizarre. They are like a world of their own.

I don’t know. It’s weird lol.