I\’m Right

Where ‘Awkwardness’ is the name of the game. Or just the story of my life.

a hint of seriousity. July 5, 2008

Filed under: Randomness — alwaysbri @ 8:48 pm

I hit the wall again.
Surprise, surprise.
But it was surprising.
I guess I thought I was past all of this..
And yet here I am.

I hate that I need approval.
I hate that I need help.
I hate that I am incapable.
I hate that I let things dictate how I feel.
I hate that I am not good enough.
And I hate that I can’t seem to change.

I already know where to find the answer to escaping this rut
that I seem to find my way back to frequently.
In the Word. In God.
I love that I have the answer… but i’m in heavy need of motivation.
The wrong things often are the ones that stimulate,
and apathy springs up out of nowhere.

on one hand,
I’m searching for God’s plan in this…
I so want to rock this world upside down for Him.
on the other,
I just want someone to tell me I am good enough.
I just want someone to tell me they care about what happens to me.
And I just want someone to say they would make it all better if they could.

I think the latter sometimes consumes my mind and attention.
At least when I’m having a hard time.
But I want the former. I want it so bad.

Please don’t misunderstand.
I have so much. I am an extremely blessed girl.
I am so incredibly thankful for all God has put in my life.
I’m just a little discouraged right now.
But daylight is in just a couple hours.
And things often look better in the morning, right? Right.

It’ll be ok.