I\’m Right

Where ‘Awkwardness’ is the name of the game. Or just the story of my life.

Attack of the Clones July 14, 2007

Filed under: Amusement,Deja Vu,Life,Randomness — alwaysbri @ 7:52 am

Hair places scare me. Seriously. They are all exactly the same. I mean, you have different people, there are slight variations, but the type of person, the attitudes, and the general experience, is always strangely similar.

For one, the clients are identical every time. There are 3 that are always there.

  • The Luke Skywalker: This is the one who is just whiny. The hair person will ask them what they want, and they will say that they hate their current style, but don’t know what else they could do. The hair person will start to rattle off different ideas, each promptly being shot down by the unhappy grump sitting in the spinny chair with a depressed look on their face.
  • The Mrs. Beauregarde : This is the lady who chats it up with the hair cutters, but her pitch is slightly higher than seems necessary, kind of like fingernails on a chalkboard… where it kind of just hurts your teeth to hear? And she will laugh at everything in that same high pitch, loudly and a little too long…
  • The Shawn Spencer: The person who spills their guts to everyone. Such as the complete stranger cutting their hair. The conversation usually revolves around the boyfriend/husband problems they are having, the fact that their sister eloped with their mom’s second ex-husband’s gorgeous actor son, who was disowned from the family for pursuing his acting career. Oh, and they are always redecorating their bathroom, but can’t figure out whether tan colored towels will disappear into the khaki colored walls.

These three cannot be avoided. It’s possible you may only see one or two at a time, but stay there long enough, and all three will come, mark my words. Every time I go, all three are there. Every. Stinking. Time.

Then you have the hairdressers. They may not be the same, but they all react to me the same. I’ll save you the gory details, but here are the highlights. The exclamations and experiences I am forced to live through every time I enter a place like this.

  • “You have so much hair!” This is said loud and often, with envy and sometimes dismay.
  • Them- “I know people who would kill for hair like yours!” Me-“They can have it” Them- *Look of horror*
  • They all also feel the need to reminisce back to the last client they had with as much hair as I have. “Her name was Susan. She had more hair than even you. Boy did I love to run my fingers through that hair…” Huh.
  • “Okay, I could see why you would find your hair somewhat of a… challenge…”

It cannot be escaped. Submit to the clones and decide to find it amusing rather than depressing. The outcome, however, was pretty darn good I think. Hank did a good job. But Hank is another story for another time.

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4 Responses to “Attack of the Clones”

  1. Joseph Says:

    All three. All three are at the place where I go. :(

  2. Elliot Swan Says:

    Well I’m always sitting next to a lady who tries to turn all of her clients into the Shawn Spencer.

    “Oh, he said that? So he’s kind of a jerk?”
    “Well, I’ve only met him once…”
    “But he was really jerky?”
    “It’s kind of hard to tell…”
    “But I mean, you can tell from watching him interact for just a few minutes. Like some of his comments were sort of mean?”
    “I guess.”
    “I can’t stand people like that. You should’ve just told him off right there. I mean who do these people think they are? They just make these wild assumptions about things they don’t have a clue about, then try to force them on you.”

    And I believe that for Mrs. Beauregarde you most definitely meant Toby. ;)

  3. jediwannabe Says:

    Helpful hint: save that lovely hair of yours. May be a pain, but once you’re in a college environment, tossing it coyly so the sunlight dances off it will have an amusing effect on the male population. Sure, guys don’t think they care one way or another about a girl’s hair, but a girl with good hair has an undefinable edge. Just trust me on this one. It’ll be worth it.

  4. the one who servers people raw meat Says:

    Nice but I don’t see luke as a grumpy person.
    And you want to talk about hair problems. Just be glad you will have hair after you hit 50.


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