I\’m Right

Where ‘Awkwardness’ is the name of the game. Or just the story of my life.

Tragedy Strikes in Mythology. March 13, 2007

Filed under: Bitterness,Life,Reflections — alwaysbri @ 1:45 pm

Today was a sad sad day for all. Or for me anyway.

Today, Killer met his demise.

*sob*

That is all I can write for now.

I will be posting his eulogy on another page for those of you who care.

Poor, poor Killer.

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A Truly Good Post Needs No Name March 6, 2007

Filed under: Life,Randomness — alwaysbri @ 10:19 pm

    I have writers block. The very worst kind. I have a million things I want to say but am completely unable to put it into words. So instead of me feeling the pressure and stress of finding something to post about, I think we should just make everyone unable to post. And epidemic of writer’s block if you will. This way no one feels like they need to post or feel at all inferior from other people’s amazing posts. It is a winning situation for all parties.

Now how will we do this you ask? Well unfortunately, there is no germ, or bug causing this. We will not be able to just go around coughing on people or licking their food and stuff to infect them with the virus that I like to call, “Idefcantthinkofflippinganythingtopost-itis.”

So what the heck are we going to do, you ask? Well it is actually very simple. There are 3 steps.

1. Whenever anyone says that they have an amazing post in the works you make a point to say something extremely distracting, awkward, confusing and redundant. Now it has to be all four of these things or it will not work. And you must yell it. Or say it in a Colbert voice, that def adds to the big picture.

Here is an example of step one for those of you who are a little slow.

Person 1: I have an absolutely amazing thing to post!

Person 2: You looked really good in the shirt you wore thursday on the moon in july on  thursday. Just thought I’d get that out there.

2. Then tell them how much you like their blog. Feel free to exaggerate.

Example:

Person 1: I have an absolutely amazing thing to post!

Person 2: You looked really good in the shirt you wore thursday on the moon in july on  thursday. Just thought I’d get that out there.

Person 1: Excuse me?

Person 2: I love reading your blog. You are so amazing, I wish I was like you. I have a picture of you on my wall.

3. At this point they are thoroughly afraid and disturbed, so finish the deal. Now this has a couple different possibilities depending on the situation.

~If you are talking to them in person, you can either finish the commentary with an enthusiastic big hug lasting just half a second too long, or if that  is uncomfortable, just wink slyly.

~If you are talking to them through email/IM, sign off, “Tell me when you finish your post I will read it 24 times. Hugs and Kisses!” do not let them comment after, immediately get off.

~If you are talking on the phone, you just have to start talking to people in the background. And regular intervals in the conversation add in little comments to yourself like, “Wow I really am quite stunning.” or, “Oh, I am so charming.” Make sure to say these under your breath so it appears that you are completely insane.

Follow these three simple steps and I can quite confidently say that they will not post anytime soon for fear you will read what they write and want to talk to them about it.

So this is the plan. Ready? Let’s do it.